..:*･yuka･*:..: June 2009

foot binding

Back in my secondary school days, we studied extensively on the history of girls in the past as part of our literature curriculum, and i can never shake off that exact feeling of horror i first felt when i read about the foot binding custom practised in China thousands of years ago.

Call it a foot fetish, but foot binding was practised on the young girls in order to create this illusion of a tiny and delicate pair of feet, which was deemed as a desirable trait among the men. What's more, their inability to perform manual work due to their bound foot, marked these girls as ladies of a certain privileged status. Their bound feet were a symbol of freedom from manual labour, and also a mark of ownership of their well-to-do husbands who could afford to support them.

In order to fit into these pretty little dainty shoes...

The arch of the foot including their toes were broken and tucked below the heel, to achieve a toe-heel length of approximately 3 inches. This procedure was carried out for two years, which included constant binding of the feet with increasing strength every time. Imagine the way your dentist tightens your braces during your monthly visit. OUCH.

I am amazed how men in the past found these sexually desirable.

the fragility of life

Maybe it's because of the recent sombre news of the deaths of famous people like MJ, that got me pondering over the fragility of life.

We are on a constant quest for a fulfilling life. But fulfilling in what sense? For materialistic satisfaction? For health and a long life? Or for an achievement that marks one at a significant point in our history? What happens if someone or even something hampers us from reaching that goal?

To narrow down this macro topic to a mini one (for my tiny head), i was lamenting to someone the other day about how people getting stricken with cancer is no longer a rare occurrence. Cancer has not only metastasized in our bodies in a biological sense, it has also proliferated into our society, our definition of the health of a postmodern individual. Diseases, in the past, were caused mostly be poor sanitary conditions and nutrition. But as the numbers of affluent individuals rise, so do diseases that didn't occur as frequently in the past, that start to spring up.

In my field of study, i have studied and written reports on cancer-related issues, but ironically, the implication of having this proliferative disease swarming over us like a continuum of parasites, didn't hit me until i discovered that someone close to me had been stricken with cancer.

Not only do people's bodies get screwed up (sorry for my crude use of language here), their lives get thrown into mayhem too. The fear of not being able to maintain their current way of living, together with the exhorbitant medical bills, is tantamount to a living nightmare.

I am beginning to embrace the fragility of life. Although i'm in a field where research the treatment and prevention of diseases are intensively conducted, i am always torn with this conflicting emotions of knowing that even though many are receiving the best treatments with the rapid advancement of medical technology, the ultimate 'vaccine' to spare all of us from these life-threatening diseases has not been discovered yet.

cranky

The long hours in the lab have taken a toil on me. I struggle with an effort to remain bright and cheery whenever i am back home for dinner, because it's the only time our whole family will be spending time together over the dinner table.

But last night's level of fatigue crossed the boundary, and i was very very cranky. The dinner was superb, we had tempura which i helped out during the cooking after reaching home. I was still in a pretty chatty mood then.

But when my sister asked me for some help on her revision on her chemistry subject (which isn't something that i have always been good in), i asked her whether i can take a rest for that night and teach her the next day. She refused because her exams were starting next week and she couldn't afford to waste any time. The piles of dishes at the sink for me to wash last night, worsened my mood too. And that was when cranky yuka took over me.

I still revised through the chapter on hybrid orbitals with my sis, but i fell asleep halfway during my explanation.

I know i might have caused some upset in my family yesterday, and i feel totally bad about it.

I hate being such a bitch when i'm cranky.

my feet needs some attention

There has only been one thing stuck in my head like crazy glue.

I never stopped thinking about it for even a second. Instead the image of it has been dancing around my head, like a circle of a chanting tribe, calling me out.

SHOES.

I desperately need a new pair of shoes, and seriously, the emerald green flats i'm currently wearing are 2 years old and are starting to look more of a mouldy shade of green. Any good shoe brand to recommend?

the hazards of science

Unlike the school practical labs where students are provided with safer chemicals and easier protocols to handle during their experiments, a research lab paints a more realistic picture of science. There is no spoonfeeding of information (sometimes you need to come up with a protocol of your own), and everyone is expected to be familiar with the potential hazards of working in a lab facility.

I have been taught to use a few powerful but dangerous chemicals during this few weeks' of training and here are some of these:

1) Ethidium bromide: It is used as a fluorescent tag for agarose gel electrophoresis, so that you can visualise the nucleic acids such as DNA. However, it is a mutagen and is highly carcinogenic!

2) Liquid nitrogen: I used it to freeze my cultured cells overnight but i had to be careful that i didn't come into contact with it, to avoid any possibility of getting a cold burn. Imagine using your bare hands to grab dry ice.

3) TEMED (Tetramethylethylenediamine) : It is used in making polyacrylamide gels for gel electrophoresis which is primarily employed to separate proteins or nucleic acids. Its fishy odour is overbearing and i try not to breathe whenever i'm extracting it from the tube. Apparently it's neurotoxic!

And the list of hazardous chemicals goes on...

Experiments have becoming more fun for me, and i am enjoying carrying out the steps. But at the same time, i liken myself to be threading on a field of landmines because there is a need to be extra vigilant every time we use a chemical or equipment.

27 dresses + corinne bailey rae = ♥

I don't care whether movie critics call it feministic or not, but i watched 27 dresses for the 348295804059th time today simply because it is one of the best romantic flicks i have ever watched.

It is definitely not a chick flick (i'm anti-chick flick), but a sweet story about a woman who has to learn to put herself before others, in order to find her own happiness that she has always dreamnt of.

For those who haven't watched this film, i might be revealing a little spoiler here, so don't continue reading if you really want to catch this movie.

My most favourite part had to be when Jane (Katherine Heigl) confessed to Kevin (James Marsden) from the stage during a wedding Kevin was covering on for his article.

She walked slowly over to him, suddenly feeling awkward after her public confession. Kevin's face was expressionless and he was quiet. And right at the moment when he finally spoke, "Come over here", Corinne Bailey Rae's "Like a star" streamed in, and he engulfed her in his arms.

That scene was simply magical.

Sigh, i love this movie.

五月病

My first week of the final year project didn't kickstart with a bang. In fact, i was severely depressed and was close to calling it quits. The crash courses on the research techniques and protocols were overwhelming and at the same time, i was filled with doubts about myself on whether i have what it takes to be an honours student.

I was suffering from 五月病 (Gogatsubyō) apparently. I googled for an english translation for it and it was explained as:

" blues experienced by college freshmen or workplace recruits shortly after beginning school or work"

The mere thought of going through a year of research on a project many of my other honours friends deemed as 'tough', together with six coursework modules, was very intimidating.

It was a terrible ordeal for me having to go through all these thoughts every single day. Part of me tried to comfort myself that many other students like me have gone through this tough period and came out all fine.

It wasn't until i had a long talk with my dad over french fries at macs.

I have just ended my 2nd week of the project, and truthfully, i feel much much more secure and confident. And i was horrified at the thought of nearly throwing this golden opportunity away, just because i was being too uptight about the entire situation.

One lesson learnt: Never say die easily.

lab rat

To explain for my long absence, i have been busy working on my final year project at the lab every single day. It is only today that i brought my mac with me over so that it can keep me occupied as i wait for my samples to be run on gel electrophoresis, PCR, incubation... etc.

Life for the past one week has been a crazy rollercoaster ride for me as i grapple with the techniques taught by my mentor, a PhD student working in the same lab. But thankfully, i am getting the hang of the pace around here, and experiments are getting more and more exciting. It is almost like baking a cake, in which you have to carefully measure the amount of ingredients needed. Except in this case, the mixture is usually toxic for consumption.

I promise more entries soon!

man's best friend

The ads for the "There's No Better Friend" campaign by Singapore's SPCA never fail to tickle me whenever i see them on one of the pages of the Straits Times papers.

This is my favourite:

ping pong boy

Apparently, my dad has been playing ping pong with the guys from his office every week, according to my mom.

WHAT???

I didn't see that coming.

I asked my mom disbelievingly, "In his working clothes?" The image of a group of middle-aged men in their working shirts and pants sweating over a ping pong table, suddenly looked pretty comical to me.

Apparently, my dad specially bought himself a sports attire for the weekly activity.

WHAT???

I totally didn't see that coming.

it's worth it

We started out, wide-eyed, innocent and oblivious to what we were heading next. It wasn't long when we began to have little squabbles over the slightest detail.

There were certain times when both of us had a peaceful bonding time together, occasionally asking each other amicably for advice. And sometimes we would take turns to heed these little gold nuggets of wisdom from each other.

Sadly it wasn't long before we were jumping down each other's throats, close to tearing each other apart.

But when we saw the smile of joy on our mom's face on her birthday, as she bit into our homemade hamburg patties glazed with a special wine sauce, all the fighting was worth it.

Happy Birthday, MOM !!!!

somewhere in between unplugged

An unplugged version of 'somewhere in between' and i think it's a million times better than the studio version.

I always felt that singing live brings out the truth of the song: it captures the raw emotions of the performer which are brought out solely from his/her voice, coupled together with the basic guitar and drum instruments.

What i loved about lifehouse's unplugged versions is that for one moment you're listening to jason wade introducing the song in his normal voice, and the next moment, you're listening to a completely different voice of his as he starts to sing. It's like unfolding different facets of lifehouse's voice at one go. The change in his voice as he kickstarts the song just caught my breath for a second.

I guess this is the magic of lifehouse's songs. They never fail to give me pleasant surprises even when i'm listening to them live or studio.

the final year project

FINALLY,

i am settled with my final year project (fyp).

WHHHEEeeeeeee!

All my hard work, the blood and sweat that were shed during the past few months, are paid off. Not to mention that if it weren't for my family and friends who supported me, i wouldn't have this silly smile plastered over my face as i bask in this very moment of happiness and relief.

i know that the next one year will be awfully busy and definitely challenging for me, but as my favorite motto goes: if there is a will there is a way,

ファイト, yuka~

..:･yuka･:..