My personal take on inter-racial marriages: the dating scene (part 1)

First of all, just want to say.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me! Haha. I'm finally 20!!!

Anyway, when i was watching my parents bickering jokingly at each other last night over the dinner table, i wondered how they managed to sustain a stable relationship for the past 23 years, even though they are two people from different worlds. So yes, this inspired me to do a 3 part-series on my thoughts about: inter-racial marriages.

In my memory, SPG (sarong party girl) was probably the first well-known term we used to refer to local women who went out with caucasian men. Over the past decade, more and more singaporeans are starting to embrace the idea of finding the other half from a totally foreign background.

So what goes on during the dating scene? I have never went on a date with a caucasian before, i guess the closest i got to was having a meal + movie with this half-japanese guy friend of mine.. which wasn't considered a date at all. But yes, there are significant differences when you go out with a non-native guy.

Firstly, the language. Whatever singlish you are used to babble in during normal conversations, may not be a good communication channel for you and that other person, UNLESS he/she knows singlish at his/her fingertips. Honestly speaking, my mom had a hard time trying to understand what my dad was saying half the time. So yes, communication breakdown is highly possible.

Secondly, common practices e.g. dining etiquette, taking the escalators, walking, may be differ. For the japanese, they cringe at the sight of people passing food to each other chopstick-to-chopstick. That's because during cremation ceremonies, they pass the bone using chopsticks. It's like how chinese hate people sticking chopsticks directly on the rice, because it reminds them of the way joss sticks are presented in front of the altar. A good idea will probably be checking out the unacceptable practices before having a meal with a foreigner.

It may be considered "cool" to some, to have a foreigner boyfriend or girlfriend, especially when he/she happens to be a caucasian. I know of some people whose biggest wish is to have a caucasian boyfriend-_- But i guess, eventually, everything boils down to his/her character in the end. My parents do want me to get a japanese husband, but for me, i am open to any kind of race. In fact, i think singaporean guys are better than japanese guys in many ways. I shall not elaborate about that here though...if you are interested, can ask me personally. Haha.

For a relationship that involves two person of different nationalities to work, is not an easy job. Not only will you have to put up with each other's practices that may seem foreign or unacceptable, you need to break out your comfort zone where you have spent most of your life with your own people. In fact, problems start surfacing after marriage, which will be mentioned in the next entry. Although i may sound pretty pessimistic here, i guess i have seen both the pretty and ugly sides of inter-racial marriages. My parents are the perfect example, and their friends who are also married to caucasians.

Anyway, this ends for part 1...

Stay tuned for part 2: the marriage★