The japanese people - will we ever be forgiven?

A few day ago, my friend who is currently on a summer exchange programme to korea told me this on msn...

Aud: Yuka, i think you wouldn't want to come to korea for summer exchange next yr

Me: Why???

Aud: Coz firstly, most of the food is spicy and you can't take spicy food. Secondly, we eat lots of vegetables and hardly eat meat. Thirdly, the modules i'm learning now focus greatly on the japanese occupation of korea in the past.

I think the main reason she didn't want me to go to korea was the third one she listed - many koreans still don't like japanese. And she was worried for my safety if i were to go there.

From young (i shouldn't say small coz i'm still small), i have come across rather hurting remarks, or what you call racist remarks. My mom even taught me the usual racist words singaporeans like to use in dialects, so that i would understand when i was ridiculed by others.

One vivid experience was in pri 2, when i had this teacher who always had the itch to talk about the japanese occupation in singapore. He used to describe how the japanese soldiers would brutally "chop off" people's heads and hung them on walls for others to see. Being little, innocent 8 year-olds, all my fellow classmates gasped in horror and started calling me "murderer". Even i was scared shit, when i heard his stories. In the end, my mom demanded an apology when she knew about it. The funniest thing was, my wonderful teacher made the whole class bow and apologize, whereas he didn't even utter a word "sorry" to me.

Another encounter i had was when this girl whom i thought was one of my good friends, turned her back on me. What was her reason?

"The pencil you buy from japan for me is so lousy. And some more, you are my enemy coz your ancestors killed mine. Why should i be your friend?"

I met her again in jc few years later. She later told my friend that she felt she had done many stupid things during primary school days, including this incident. Whatever.

The third one was during a chinese wedding dinner. Apparently, my mom's relatives were pretty interested in how my mom got to marry a japanese guy. I remembered vividly, one question asked by this auntie which wiped off the smile from my mom's face - "Your father-in-law fought in the war right? Did he kill any chinese before?"

I asked my dad about my late grandfather during the war. Apparently, my late grandfather refused to talk about what he did during the war. I guess, some memories are just too painful to be recalled.

These are some of the few encounters i had with racism over the past 20 years. At first, i hated to talk anything about the japanese occupation or even hear people talking about it. I tried to avoid the topic at all costs. But as i grew up, i realised that it's an event that will stay imprinted in the memories of every person who is directly or indirectly linked to the second world war. The controversial visits to the Yasukuni shrine made by the former PM Koizumi and the contents in the japanese history textbooks have in fact, heightened the fragile tension between the japanese and the rest of the world. Although i call myself japanese, but i feel that sometimes we should make a formal apology and let the case rest. Sadly, this thinking is not accepted by the japanese government. In fact, recently, a japanese minster had to step down when he commented that the atomic bombings was the only solution to stop the war.

I have had friends' parents restricting them from befriending me because of my race, during my primary school days. I have had people coming up to me, telling me how they were envious of me because i was a japanese and j-culture to them was the coolest thing on earth. Two contrasting attitudes towards the same race. I would say, the latter attitude has become more common nowadays. But still, this sort of racism still exists here. And in those countries which suffered under the japanese rule - especially china and korea.

I feel sorry for the tragic sufferings of those who lived during the world war. Even to those who still hate the japanese. Because it was the brutality of the treatment they were given, which left them bitter and unforgiving. What they have suffered, i don't think any of us could ever fully understand. But on the other hand, the japanese people back in japan suffered too, not only because of the atomic bombings. Ever wondered why kamikazes had such strong willpower to fight for their country? Patriotism and honour were the values japanese have embraced fully, when it comes to anything that has got to do with their country. A person who showed any signs of reluctance to serve the army was seen to be disloyal to the nation. Hence, even if it means losing their family or homes, the japanese had to set their nation at their first priority. This was the utmost belief that had been instilled in every one of them since young.

For me, i always wondered when we japanese would be forgiven for the atrocities our ancestors had committed in the past. Maybe those atrocities can never be forgiven. But i hope that the new japanese generation will be seen by others under a new light, not under the shadows of our forefathers.